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  • Writer's pictureJeanne Chamness

How to break-up with a friend?

How do you spend time with your friends? Talking for hours on the phone? Scrolling together on social media? Maybe even sharing the occasional inside joke? Yet, what happens when the friendship takes a toxic turn and you’re unable to continue even being friends? Unfortunately though, friendships can, and should, sometimes end. It can become toxic or it could just be time to move away from that friendship. “Breaking up” with a friend can be harder to determine when it is time to move away from that relationship versus when you are breaking up with a significant other. When you break up with someone, it is so you can move on to find that right person. When it is time to end a friendship, you have to determine when it is the best time to walk away from it, and that can be hard to figure out sometimes.

We have friends to help us figure out our best selves, to have someone to do fun things with. And sometimes those reasons may be that you have grown apart from one another, you have differences in values, you aren’t having fun anymore or you just don’t agree with their life choices. Those could be the “make it or break it” deciding factors as to if a friendship should end. Ending a friendship could be hard to determine if it is the right thing to do. But oftentimes you should step back and wonder if you are giving more than you are receiving, is it worth fighting for anymore. When those things start happening, you know that it is time to walk away from the friendship.

When certain things in the friendship start to trigger your core values and you just know it is time to walk away, you should definitely make a clean break and walk away. Sometimes you may just need a break, but more times than not, it is time to make the choice and walk away.

One important thing to remember is that if you do decide to end the friendship, keep it as drama free as possible, meaning keep it between yourselves. There is no need to drag other friends into the situation. And remember--KEEP IT OFF OF SOCIAL MEDIA!

Sometimes, the person you no longer want to be friends with may come back and tell you that they realized how much it was affecting you and want to change. This can be a good thing, but trust your gut what you think you should do. You can rebuild a stronger relationship, so there is still hope!

Friendships go through ups and downs, but there is hope to save the friendship. But if you feel that there is no way to save the friendship, then the best thing to do is to walk away and get yourself out of that toxic relationship. To move on from the loss of this friendship, allow yourself time to grieve. You will miss that person and you will want to tell them about your day, but then the realization hits you that they aren’t in your life like that anymore. So give yourself time to grieve. You may want to revisit people that you haven’t seen in a while or start back up doing an old hobby you used to enjoy. You may also decide that it is time to try some new experiences as well, in order to meet new people.

Ending a friendship is hard. But sometimes, it is a necessary step to take in order to further yourself and your life.

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